i've almost been spurred into action. i would write an angry letter to merriam-webster, but instead i'll just refute the existence of such a stupid thing as: Main Entry: Chinese restaurant syndrome Function: noun Date: 1968 : a group of symptoms (as numbness of the neck, arms, and back with headache, dizziness, and palpitations) that is held to affect susceptible persons eating food and especially Chinese food heavily seasoned with monosodium glutamate this is one of the alternative entries offered when one looks up "restaurant." as steingarten and i both well know, CRS is just a myth concocted by those who are also supposedly plagued by the inability to eat dairy, pineapple, cilantro, or whatever the hell else they've made up. another discovery in the upper reaches of hell's kitchen: island burgers & shakes. a respectable patty, done just as ordered, and a nice char-grilled taste and aroma that lingers on your fingers all day long. but no fries?!


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