5/30/2003

so this is what it feels like to be in a vice. it's our first night in london after a frenzied couple of days in loughborough (about 1.5 hrs north of the capital city by train, near leicester and nottingham), and travel has been fairly exhausting. all the people that are encouraging connie to go to the uni because they want to visit her should think again -- it took us about 24 hours to reach the campus. true, we had to fly through montreal for our cheapass fares, but for some reason, the hop across the pond seemed especially long. i know i've exaggerated about being wedged between a fat man and a screaming baby before, but dude, this flight, i sat next to most ridiculously ginormous woman. i mean, we're talking morbidly obese. orca fat. "sat next to" is probably not the correct phrase -- i think "sat under" is more accurate. she'd twice requested a seat transferral from the flight crew as she wanted two seats, but she got half of mine instead and the nice stewardess gave her a seatbelt extender. i wanted to take a picture of her arm while she was asleep to illustrate this anecdote, but my sense got the better of me. thought it would be rather tasteless. her forearm was as big as my head! her thigh as big as my torso! skin in all its elasticity and capacity is truly a wondrous organ. while whale woman was very nice and did her part to pass along my tray and such, i was put off by her lovely vomitous odor. as was connie. we estimate 400-some odd pounds. and yes, she was american. i'm sorry. that was really mean. but you weren't crushed under her enormous girth for some six hours. okay, i'll get back to the britons later. pics and commentary galore. why does everyone here wear yankees hats? and why do they listen to such horrible dance music?

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