snails, the whales of the soil on my drive home i was thinking about how i wanted to write about snails and how graceful they are--- i've heard that they're gardening pests, but there's something majestic when a couple snails have decided to tag along on the hood of your car. it's almost as if they're surfing. the nice whorls of their shells, the elegant arch of their antennae, the efficiency of slime. i parked and moved closer to my hood for a closer look when i heard a visceral crunch beneath my left heel; i knew exactly what had just happened. i feel deeply, deeply disturbed. i feel like they're going to come after me... my car-snails are probably friends, family, colleagues of the one destroyed underneath my immense girth. a friend pointed out that i had beef today and that cows have complex feelings, but somehow the crunch ain't the same.


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